Harry Graham: The Mombasa Massacre
(Ex-President Roosevelt, who has been shooting big game in South Africa, accompanied by a cinematograph operator, has included two fine giraffes in his bag.)
O Theodore, in days of yore,
Your courage I admired!
What fame you won, with rod and gun,
What laurels you acquired!
The grizzly bear, within his lair,
You bravely would pursue,
And goodness knows what buffaloes
And other things you slew,
Ere, on the cinematograph,
I saw you slaughter a giraffe!
That kindly beast (alas! deceased!)
Is harmless as a cat;
It seems a shame you shouldn't aim
At higher game than that!
Go forth and track the savage yak,
Go seek the tiger's gore;
Pursue the gnu, the kangaroo,
The lion and the boar!
Go rob the bison of her calf,
But oh! don't murder the giraffe!
For if, in short, your views of sport
Such massacres allow,
You'd better stay at home and slay
The cart-horse and the cow;
Or men will doubt those tales about
Your sportsmanship and grit,
Who read with gloom, upon your tomb,
In blood-red letters writ:
»Here Lies – (a fearful epitaph!) –
The Man Who Murdered a Giraffe!«