Sonntag, 12. Februar 2017

Harry Graham (16)

Hygienehinweise aus »Canned Classics« (1911):

Harry Graham: The Dirt Cure

»Abandon Soap all ye who enter here!«

(»I do not think cleanliness is to be recommended as an hygienic method... The whole of the doctrine of fresh air requires to be revised... There is no evidence that the man who does not take physical exercise is more liable to disease than the man who does.« – Sir Almroth Wright.)

Time was when I gaily would wash myself daily;
   My body with soapsuds I polished;
Each morning I plotted to issue unspotted
   From baths (that have since been abolished).
But though I might lather and scrub with a will, I
Could never elude those confounded bacilli!

Time was when each casement, from attic to basement,
   Stood open all night to the breezes;
My molars might chatter, but what did that matter,
   Thought I, if I staved off diseases?
A practise so rigorous merely unstrung me,
And germs floated in at the window, and stung me!

Time was when I nightly would bicycle brightly
   Round Battersea Park, in a »sweater«;
I felt that such vigour would strengthen my figure,
   And render my appetite better.
Alas! 'neath my cycling costume (call'd a »bike-robe«)
I still was a prey to each virulent microbe!

The scientist's scathing indictment of bathing
   Has altered my methods complety.
I've given up coping with windows, or soaping;
   My sponges are packed away neatly.
My bicycle's sold, and I can't understand how
I ever attempted to emulate Sandow!

Unkempt and a sloven, in rooms like an oven,
   I lead a most healthy existence;
My stout epidermis so horny and firm is,
   Bacilli are kept at a distance.
No germ in my armour discovers a juncture;
My body no microbe is able to puncture!

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